reading 2019; a discussion

it’s been a year. reading through 2019 was weird, starts and stops, some slowly read books and some quickly read books and some abandoned books. this year i set down any book that lacked emotional truth. i plan to continue that practice, in reading and in life. i was saved by words and sentences, saved … Read more

(let’s) burn this motherfucking system to the ground

it’s been a week. i’m not fond of November because it’s dark. the news is fucking unrelenting. and then there’s this year-long realization of conditions in the misogynistic literary landscape. i had hopes. i did. the evidence isn’t supporting my hopes. then this article came along ‘on pandering’ and it’s got me thinking: where am … Read more

offline

dear imaginary readers of this blog, i’m away for a while, working. and blogging is last on my list.

867-5309/Jenny

in which a narcissistic teenaged girl named Jenny intuitively, emotionally manipulates Doris Lessing, a difficult woman with intimacy problems and an overly analytical nature. ultimately, they disappoint each other. The thing is you hadn’t met me when you wrote to me. It was incredibly kind of you … I’m really grateful … But now I’m … Read more

you never stop learning, do you?

i’ve learned one or two things in the last couple of years. i’m no longer interested in spending time with narcissistic people. life is too short. i’m thankful that i’ve uncovered the reasons* why i’ve historically attracted then tolerated these exhausting behaviours. you never stop learning, do you? *The Sergeant’s Daughter Syndrome *my mother

the sergeant’s daughter

your Dad’s an RCMP Sergeant and you barely fit in at your new school. first day of Grade 6. “your Dad’s a pig,” says a big boy with a failed haircut that his mom inflicted on him, and briskly shoves you against the stucco wall during recess. your elbows shred, pink patches with little pinpricks … Read more

honesty

recently, i read an essay by Meghan Daum that really struck me. i’m still processing the essay for it’s honesty not the details, although the details are beautifully written. substantiative. the essay’s unsettling because it’s horrifyingly honest if that makes any sense–and it makes sense to me. here’s an excerpt: If you asked me what … Read more