a black mood

week 5, quarantine

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my hair is morphing, christopher walkenesque it keeps snowing and i keep wearing sweaters, sweaters i’m running out of cooking ideas over here, help me out, will ya? my nerves are sizzling, sizzling i’ve forgotten how to knit narcoleptic + wild dreams watching finnish/nordic/polish murder mysteries

top 10 books of 2017

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i read a lotta books in 2017 but i lost track, didn’t properly record them. the year was too much, too much. i’m working from memory here; please forgive me, please forgive my omissions. i am too little and too much. 2017 was an absolute shit show from a reading perspective because, as a news … Read more

a dugout in guatemala

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              abandoned left behind discarded in the mud thrown away tipped burned hollowed out creosote slick marked by a knife stained with blood

b

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  blind black-and-blue blueprints to be or not to be bustling blindfold battle battlefield bottle-blond boobs bruises baseball first-base second-base third-base home-base baseball bat blue truck bearings bastard blank black blacked out black mascara running best friends blabber assault and battery baseline borderline blue, blue, blue burning oh boy boys bad boys barking dogs bad … Read more

death

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Death by Rainer Maria Rilke Before us great Death stands Our fate held close within his quiet hands. When with proud joy we lift Life’s red wine To drink deep of the mystic shining cup And ecstasy through all our being leaps— Death bows his head and weeps.  

CA 15-3

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i am cursing you, in this oil-rich city, my hands unsteady. the walls are reverberating. it’s cold outside, and sunny, and even in the early afternoon, the wind is brittle. this morning, i watched the sounds of an olympic hockey game–an announcer in a floral suit, rock n’ roll regurgitating–collapse in the corner of this … Read more

jasper

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dear imaginary readers of this blog, i am currently in jasper trying to finish this last story.  it’s coming along but i’ll admit i’m feeling a bit desperate. it’s difficult to sleep and the drunks come rolling down Patricia Avenue at 3 a.m. and they’re laughing and shouting and singing.  the other night the neighbours had … Read more

the reality of suicide

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when i was a psych nurse, i took care of a lot of different kinds of people.  ten years of work, on both the open wards and psych emergency, taught me a thing or two. i don’t like to talk about it much because i fear marginalizing people who are already, sadly, shoved to one … Read more