jasper

dear imaginary readers of this blog,

i am currently in jasper trying to finish this last story.  it’s coming along but i’ll admit i’m feeling a bit desperate.

it’s difficult to sleep and the drunks come rolling down Patricia Avenue at 3 a.m. and they’re laughing and shouting and singing.  the other night the neighbours had a knock ’em, sock ’em fight and their kid was screaming and their dog was barking. i gave up on sleep and just lay there in a twisted doze, too fucking tired to cry.

the cursed alarm rang early and i went straight to the table and wrote the following:

  1. it occurs to him that carolyn is the same age as his son.  he doesn’t care.  it feels good to be held.
  2. it occurs to him the carolyn is attractive, that it’s been a long time since he’s had sex.
  3. it occurs to him that he should be drunk but he’s not.
  4. it occurs to him that it’s dark.
  5. it occurs to him that he can see things in the dark.
  6. it occurs to him that his mother could die alone.
  7. it occurs to him that he could die alone.
  8. it occurs to him that he should go home.

i have no question, no answer, just words on a page.