at the monastery

jet lagged. in the middle of the night, on Italian TV, a subterranean dream. i click through the channels to find:

  1. Whitney Houston music videos. there’s always Whitney Houston videos on Italian TV, i don’t know why;
  2. chaste adverts for pleasure devices;
  3. a sexy demonstration of a non-stick frying pan;
  4. an Italian commentary about a zoning problem in a small industrial city;
  5. David Bowie, side-eyed, singing about his impending death. i miss David Bowie;
  6. cartoons, cartoons, cartoons;
  7. full frontal phone-in porn shows a busty blond and perky brunette in recline, bored, stroking their shaved pudenda, desperately waiting for a customer to call;
  8. Guy Fieri dubbed in a serious Italian voice, sonorous-like. every once in a while Guy squeals (because Guy always squeals) and this creates a dissonance;
  9. more adverts for pleasure devices that look an awful lot like the gear shift in the rental car;
  10. soccer: pony-tailed men fall to the astro-turf, wailing and pulling their hair, when they miss a shot on goal. a shot on goal;
  11. a special announcement about a hurricane by the name of Irma;
  12. another special announcement about an earthquake in Mexico City; and,
  13. the final dance/fight off in Footloose. Kevin Bacon is impossibly young.