i find a bottle of unopened vodka in my 18 y.o.’s closet and enquire.
i don’t know where that vodka came from, she says. is it yours?
uh, no.
oh. i just found it in my closet.
it came from somewhere, i say and wait. nothing.
when i find the $15.67 charge for uptown liquor* on the MC bill, i say something about it.
i don’t know what happened, she says. i wasn’t there. okay, maybe I was there. MOM. people were buying liquor and so I did too.
i see, i say. it’s hard not to laugh and i fail.
uptown liquor is the portal. if there’s anything you don’t really want to divulge just say you were at uptown liquor and, somehow, you ended up in another place. just say, i went to Java, i don’t know how. i was at uptown liquor and it all went sideways.
*this post is not sponsored by uptown liquor.